Groesbeek, view of the 'National Liberation Museum 1944-1945' in Groesbeek. © Ton Kersten
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How to hunt the Haggis

2012-10-22 (128) by Ton Kersten, tagged as humor

Most people are familiar with my love of Scotland, single malt and (of course) haggis. But most people do not have a clue what haggis is and when you tell them, they walk out in disgust.

But a colleague of mine found out that haggis is just an animal that can be hunted in the Scottish Highlands.

This is how it's done:

.....asked me how the haggis were hunted so I explained that there were two types of haggis, who, because they lived on the steep slopes of the Scottish Highlands, developed legs of different lengths on their left and right sides depending upon which way they travelled round the mountain to graze. With the knowledge of which type of haggis one was hunting, the procedure was quite simple.

A large 'catch fence' was erected around the base of the mountain and a piper was sent up the mountain to play his bagpipes while walking contrary to the normal direction of rotation of the haggis. This put the fear of G*d in to the wee creatures who tried to run away, but of course their short legs were now down-hill so they soon overbalanced and rolled down the mountain into the catch fence at the base where they were then easily caught and euthanized.

Thanks to Hendrik Jan Thomassen.